Friday, December 31, 2010

Gutterfood of the Year 2010

2010 has been a good year for us - we avoided many gutterfood hence there were less posts, but that didn't mean we manage to avoid the worse gutterfoods out there.

This year, one stood out in particular as being the worstest Gutterfood of the year.

And the award goes to ... Esquire Kitchen Damansara Jaya!

Congratulations for being the worse eat of the year despite the strong competition.

Why Esquire? Well, you can see from this post as well as our other experiences that
- poor ingredient quality
- poorly cook dish
do make a completely shitbrix meal.

I am also disappointed in Esquire because you guys used to be good, then ok, then so-so, and now, shitbrix-inducing food. It really breaks my heart to see this.

Finally, Esquire, stop making those stupid fancy promotions on new products, and FIX UR GODDAMN BASIC DISHES FIRST!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Room 18 gutter liao

I heard people said this restaurant the food is fail, but I no believe because I see the shop like very nice like that, so I go and try lor.

I eat this fried dumpling wanton mee, actually I not order this, I order is different, not this, but the waitress like very blur like that, she insist is this that I order, ok ok , she win all lah!

The fried dumplings are very salty, is it salt very cheap the chef wanna put so much wanna ham sei the customers is it??

Then the soup wanton mee, give so big bowl for what, because give people the mee so little. And the soup not nice because the kan shui taste very geng! Kan shui is the chemical they put in noodle to make the noodle more yellow and more tahan one, no good for health one I tell you. People come here pay double/triple than roadside stall, but still got taste the kan shui, how can?????????????

my friend said the fried rice no good wor, maybe fried til not even gua, you see still got white rice one.

After kutuk the rice and noodle, I want to say these custard buns are quite ok one. If I early know the noodle not nice, I go order all custard buns lor, no need waste money eat expensive wanton mee.

Room Eighteen
Midvalley Megamall

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Lala Chong Ching Chong Ching Chong

Hi again all gutterfood readers. Ah Wok is back again with
anudder post. This one abit more femes place called Lala Chong.
Is in some kampung call kayu ara near damansara jaya there
wan and the road to go in is super the lousy. Many hole here
there until my car esobar oso can spoil wan.

This place really many people come wan. When many people come
mean got high chance no go up car so i no nid to sked so much.
Unfortunately, this is not the case here if not i not write this liao.

I order in total 7 thing. This is taufu kang. I posted before
long ago same dish i eated in klang where it look like some
radiated starch thing. Here no radiate but here they put
many salt. So many many until become like ham choy sup.

If you dun belip me, you see this my friend bowl. He add so
much vinegar until look like kicap. He say to kill salty taste
must add more vinegar if not later sure hair drop off alot,
FFFUUUU. Sure laosai wan him. HAAHHAAHA.

This here is deer meat in black pepper. Is another failed dish
that is soooo fail until you can go hospital wan. Why ? The deer
meat got freezer smell and also i think they use marjerin to fry
Come on la, use marjerin fry is bad for health wan you know.

This is lala chong most femes signature jiu pai dish. Is lala.
Here the taste ok-ok can pass. But problem is this plate is
RM 15. If i go elsewhere order same dish which is this superior
soup base siong thong lala for RM 15, i get more lala. And i also
get same taste. I dunno why people say fantastic, i eated this
at everywhere also almost taste same. Here they more expense
only. Why more expense ? Coz this is lala chong place ma.

The green vegetable i no complain also. Is choy sum. If choy sum
can fail means something wrong jor.

This next dish is fail. Is actually not deer meat coz the deer
meat i post liao. This is prawn. Is my RM 35 prawn. Look like
deer meat, taste like deer meat. I think they fry together to
save time wan. Also is got marjerin taste. And the prawn is
small. You see piktar you oredi can tell. Confirm you also this
prawn is not fresh wan. I wasted i should order the lai liu har
which i see swimming in the akuarium behind me. This is damn
expense and damn shitbrix. Look also dunno like what,
how to enjoy la ?

This one is another ultimate fail. Sweet sour crab. I got a few
compren this crab. Sweet also dun have, sour also dun have.
Crab is i think last month keep until now coz when eated that
time ah, the crab meat all stick to shell wan. Crab when u cook
fresh ah, easy to peel, 1 time all meat come out. This one very
mafan to eat. U peel the shell all stick so u kopek the shell out
bit by bit. Really make u work for your food. But the sos really
ah, aiyooooo i think i put maggi kicap also better taste than this.

This is super oily fry bun with plastik paper still stick at bottom.
If you dun belip me, next time u come here order this. Got plastik
stick at bottom of bun wan. See also sked, touch that time super
oily. Where got i wan eated this la. Summore dip with what wor ?
The crab sos ??? I DIP KICAP ALSO BETTER AH. But no, i value
my health so i no touch this plastik oily bun. I sked.

My bill. Very con job i tell you. Lala is expense, prawn is expense,
crab is quite normal price since here is pj but fuah, after cook and i
eated, is consider super expense. Deer meat and taufu kang is really

To cut short tl;dr version, the lala is not fantastic. My green vegetable
also is can eated. My deer meat is shitbrix, taufu kang is not for
human drink wan, crab is not for human eated wan, super oily plastik
bun is for play game wan and the prawn is go up car wan.
5 dish bad, 2 dish ok. Oh and you see my resit, i got no 2x titbit coz i early
early rejek say i dowan eat their kacang and mango. But they still charge
me. And then i oso dunno why i pay RM 16 tax money. And i also
no eated 4 rice. Only got 3 bowl. I lazy wan argue i pay and i curse
kau them instead coz kampung area better dun play play. After kenot
drive out i sked. Oh btw, my gf also no follow me here coz she go to
holiday eated singapore femes chiken rice which is also shud be in
this blog wan.

Lala Chong
Kampung Kayu Ara PJ
N3 07.446 E101 36.479

Old Taste is definitely correct

Hi all gutterfood fan people, i Ah Wok is back jor. This time i
got go to this place called Old Taste Kopitiam in the Taman
Maluri KL to meet up 1 business people. So this time abit
not same becoz i not have bring my gf come. This place here
empty wan and since i not eated dinner so i order lor while wait
the business people come find me. First, there i order the drink
is call 3 layer tea. i ask kurang manis but the bangla i think not
clever listen to kurang manis. So i end up have order the skyjus.
Then i force myself drink the super sweet tea until can cham
with my skyjus.

Now for dinner i order their super femes sambal chau fan.
I can tell you is so femes that nobody know. I ask all my friend
they say no hear before. I go up car jor. My 3 layer tea come is
super manis, then now my sambal fry rice is come with no taste
other than stale oil taste. You look the pic you oredi will know.
I almost up car go order the roselle water you see at the paper.
Lucky i hear next table behind me say is like sirap ais without
the sirap taste. Only got smell. Oh my sambai chau fan really
got nothing wan. oni got few slice fishkek and some green round
thing. Haihz.

This dinner cost me quite alot coz i berak cair after this.
I suspek is the sambai not clean. Summoar i eated half oni.
If i finish all plate liddat i also dunno how. If really this is old
taste, then i happy i not live in olden days. Anyway i really
up car this one.

Old Taste
Taman Maluri KL
N3 07.686 E101 43.813

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Funky Villa eCurve omfgwtfbbq

Are you ready to shit brix at e-Curve? Funky Villa is a thai restoran next to McD. is suppose to be a bar/restoran and the song "Funky Town" is loop infitely on the stereo when no band is playing.

Ok food first.

this is the starter of mix grill stuff. quite tasteless but they give a ton of chili sos to dip so you dont taste the tasteless.

in the same starter got this pomelo thingy is dam 9 chat hot.
if u liked hot until anus terasa, u eated this. then got the black fish cake
look like stomp by gajah liao one.

this is the soft shell crap.

but worse of all is the LIVE BAND. the sound so LOUD
and the gal voice is SHIT BRIX TERUK !!!
is some thai gal kot. when she singing it so terribles
i can feel my two telur bergetarrrrr!!!!!!

cipet man faster eated paid and fark off to mcdonnet next door tapao fish bugger.

this is truly shit brix experience in surround sound with fiery anus.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Strawberry Fields Cafe PJ State

A lot kids like to hang out here one. This is near the india cinema that used to be PJ State.

Kids nowadays love crappy food as long as can cuci mata see those young gal wear shorts and tight tops.

So I also go and try to cuci mata see some siham.

Oh my was i in for a cunnilary treat.

I order the fry mushroom. Taste like cardboard.

This is chiken maryland. no pisang. no sosej. just the maryland oni.
I starving liao so I manage to eated half before my stomach reject and i had to stop.

This is nice potato salad. the potato is dam hard i bet the knife they used to cut it blunt edi.
And the white goo is mayo+water. waffak man. this one is gooding to give ur enemy eated.

worse part is NO SIHAM! i wented that time dunno why very less gal in tight tops and short hot pants.

makahai waste my time i dulan went over pj de inn get some urut batin and settled.