Friday, December 31, 2010

Gutterfood of the Year 2010

2010 has been a good year for us - we avoided many gutterfood hence there were less posts, but that didn't mean we manage to avoid the worse gutterfoods out there.

This year, one stood out in particular as being the worstest Gutterfood of the year.

And the award goes to ... Esquire Kitchen Damansara Jaya!

Congratulations for being the worse eat of the year despite the strong competition.

Why Esquire? Well, you can see from this post as well as our other experiences that
- poor ingredient quality
- poorly cook dish
do make a completely shitbrix meal.

I am also disappointed in Esquire because you guys used to be good, then ok, then so-so, and now, shitbrix-inducing food. It really breaks my heart to see this.

Finally, Esquire, stop making those stupid fancy promotions on new products, and FIX UR GODDAMN BASIC DISHES FIRST!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Room 18 gutter liao

I heard people said this restaurant the food is fail, but I no believe because I see the shop like very nice like that, so I go and try lor.

I eat this fried dumpling wanton mee, actually I not order this, I order is different, not this, but the waitress like very blur like that, she insist is this that I order, ok ok , she win all lah!

The fried dumplings are very salty, is it salt very cheap the chef wanna put so much wanna ham sei the customers is it??

Then the soup wanton mee, give so big bowl for what, because give people the mee so little. And the soup not nice because the kan shui taste very geng! Kan shui is the chemical they put in noodle to make the noodle more yellow and more tahan one, no good for health one I tell you. People come here pay double/triple than roadside stall, but still got taste the kan shui, how can?????????????

my friend said the fried rice no good wor, maybe fried til not even gua, you see still got white rice one.

After kutuk the rice and noodle, I want to say these custard buns are quite ok one. If I early know the noodle not nice, I go order all custard buns lor, no need waste money eat expensive wanton mee.

Room Eighteen
Midvalley Megamall

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Lala Chong Ching Chong Ching Chong

Hi again all gutterfood readers. Ah Wok is back again with
anudder post. This one abit more femes place called Lala Chong.
Is in some kampung call kayu ara near damansara jaya there
wan and the road to go in is super the lousy. Many hole here
there until my car esobar oso can spoil wan.

This place really many people come wan. When many people come
mean got high chance no go up car so i no nid to sked so much.
Unfortunately, this is not the case here if not i not write this liao.

I order in total 7 thing. This is taufu kang. I posted before
long ago same dish i eated in klang where it look like some
radiated starch thing. Here no radiate but here they put
many salt. So many many until become like ham choy sup.

If you dun belip me, you see this my friend bowl. He add so
much vinegar until look like kicap. He say to kill salty taste
must add more vinegar if not later sure hair drop off alot,
FFFUUUU. Sure laosai wan him. HAAHHAAHA.

This here is deer meat in black pepper. Is another failed dish
that is soooo fail until you can go hospital wan. Why ? The deer
meat got freezer smell and also i think they use marjerin to fry
Come on la, use marjerin fry is bad for health wan you know.

This is lala chong most femes signature jiu pai dish. Is lala.
Here the taste ok-ok can pass. But problem is this plate is
RM 15. If i go elsewhere order same dish which is this superior
soup base siong thong lala for RM 15, i get more lala. And i also
get same taste. I dunno why people say fantastic, i eated this
at everywhere also almost taste same. Here they more expense
only. Why more expense ? Coz this is lala chong place ma.

The green vegetable i no complain also. Is choy sum. If choy sum
can fail means something wrong jor.

This next dish is fail. Is actually not deer meat coz the deer
meat i post liao. This is prawn. Is my RM 35 prawn. Look like
deer meat, taste like deer meat. I think they fry together to
save time wan. Also is got marjerin taste. And the prawn is
small. You see piktar you oredi can tell. Confirm you also this
prawn is not fresh wan. I wasted i should order the lai liu har
which i see swimming in the akuarium behind me. This is damn
expense and damn shitbrix. Look also dunno like what,
how to enjoy la ?

This one is another ultimate fail. Sweet sour crab. I got a few
compren this crab. Sweet also dun have, sour also dun have.
Crab is i think last month keep until now coz when eated that
time ah, the crab meat all stick to shell wan. Crab when u cook
fresh ah, easy to peel, 1 time all meat come out. This one very
mafan to eat. U peel the shell all stick so u kopek the shell out
bit by bit. Really make u work for your food. But the sos really
ah, aiyooooo i think i put maggi kicap also better taste than this.

This is super oily fry bun with plastik paper still stick at bottom.
If you dun belip me, next time u come here order this. Got plastik
stick at bottom of bun wan. See also sked, touch that time super
oily. Where got i wan eated this la. Summore dip with what wor ?
The crab sos ??? I DIP KICAP ALSO BETTER AH. But no, i value
my health so i no touch this plastik oily bun. I sked.

My bill. Very con job i tell you. Lala is expense, prawn is expense,
crab is quite normal price since here is pj but fuah, after cook and i
eated, is consider super expense. Deer meat and taufu kang is really

To cut short tl;dr version, the lala is not fantastic. My green vegetable
also is can eated. My deer meat is shitbrix, taufu kang is not for
human drink wan, crab is not for human eated wan, super oily plastik
bun is for play game wan and the prawn is go up car wan.
5 dish bad, 2 dish ok. Oh and you see my resit, i got no 2x titbit coz i early
early rejek say i dowan eat their kacang and mango. But they still charge
me. And then i oso dunno why i pay RM 16 tax money. And i also
no eated 4 rice. Only got 3 bowl. I lazy wan argue i pay and i curse
kau them instead coz kampung area better dun play play. After kenot
drive out i sked. Oh btw, my gf also no follow me here coz she go to
holiday eated singapore femes chiken rice which is also shud be in
this blog wan.

Lala Chong
Kampung Kayu Ara PJ
N3 07.446 E101 36.479

Old Taste is definitely correct

Hi all gutterfood fan people, i Ah Wok is back jor. This time i
got go to this place called Old Taste Kopitiam in the Taman
Maluri KL to meet up 1 business people. So this time abit
not same becoz i not have bring my gf come. This place here
empty wan and since i not eated dinner so i order lor while wait
the business people come find me. First, there i order the drink
is call 3 layer tea. i ask kurang manis but the bangla i think not
clever listen to kurang manis. So i end up have order the skyjus.
Then i force myself drink the super sweet tea until can cham
with my skyjus.

Now for dinner i order their super femes sambal chau fan.
I can tell you is so femes that nobody know. I ask all my friend
they say no hear before. I go up car jor. My 3 layer tea come is
super manis, then now my sambal fry rice is come with no taste
other than stale oil taste. You look the pic you oredi will know.
I almost up car go order the roselle water you see at the paper.
Lucky i hear next table behind me say is like sirap ais without
the sirap taste. Only got smell. Oh my sambai chau fan really
got nothing wan. oni got few slice fishkek and some green round
thing. Haihz.

This dinner cost me quite alot coz i berak cair after this.
I suspek is the sambai not clean. Summoar i eated half oni.
If i finish all plate liddat i also dunno how. If really this is old
taste, then i happy i not live in olden days. Anyway i really
up car this one.

Old Taste
Taman Maluri KL
N3 07.686 E101 43.813

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Funky Villa eCurve omfgwtfbbq

Are you ready to shit brix at e-Curve? Funky Villa is a thai restoran next to McD. is suppose to be a bar/restoran and the song "Funky Town" is loop infitely on the stereo when no band is playing.

Ok food first.

this is the starter of mix grill stuff. quite tasteless but they give a ton of chili sos to dip so you dont taste the tasteless.

in the same starter got this pomelo thingy is dam 9 chat hot.
if u liked hot until anus terasa, u eated this. then got the black fish cake
look like stomp by gajah liao one.

this is the soft shell crap.

but worse of all is the LIVE BAND. the sound so LOUD
and the gal voice is SHIT BRIX TERUK !!!
is some thai gal kot. when she singing it so terribles
i can feel my two telur bergetarrrrr!!!!!!

cipet man faster eated paid and fark off to mcdonnet next door tapao fish bugger.

this is truly shit brix experience in surround sound with fiery anus.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Strawberry Fields Cafe PJ State

A lot kids like to hang out here one. This is near the india cinema that used to be PJ State.

Kids nowadays love crappy food as long as can cuci mata see those young gal wear shorts and tight tops.

So I also go and try to cuci mata see some siham.

Oh my was i in for a cunnilary treat.

I order the fry mushroom. Taste like cardboard.

This is chiken maryland. no pisang. no sosej. just the maryland oni.
I starving liao so I manage to eated half before my stomach reject and i had to stop.

This is nice potato salad. the potato is dam hard i bet the knife they used to cut it blunt edi.
And the white goo is mayo+water. waffak man. this one is gooding to give ur enemy eated.

worse part is NO SIHAM! i wented that time dunno why very less gal in tight tops and short hot pants.

makahai waste my time i dulan went over pj de inn get some urut batin and settled.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Canton-I Mid Valley

canton-i, this place quite crowding so i thought sure is damn nice one.
setting also not bad.

order prawn chee cheong fun RM10.80. niasing is expensive~!
ok nvm i see big prawn but when i eated the fun... tiu man the taste is cock taste! the kicap dunno waffak kicap also.

then order chiken+siuyoke noddle RM14.80.
nin lao bu, the noddle is tasteless.
chiken tasteless.
siuyoke at least is human eat one.
but this is fail noddle

i damn 9 hungry also dint finish. last last i went to tabao KFC.
expensive. tasteless. canton-i for sohai lah!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Taiping Mali Cafe at Bandar Puteri Puchong

i sawed the facebook page wow got taiping mali cafe. so i nvr go taiping before i wanan tried it la.
go there the decor not bad all white like very modern kopitiam.
so i order the feature item as in their website.

when food arrive, i feel i up car liao.
*note* inset pics are the official cafe pics from facebooks

#1 - taiping chee cheong fail
the sos so watery and not tasty one. i eated ipoh one is 9000 time nicer.

#2 - nasi lemak chipet
why the sambal so watery?
why sambal no ikan bilis?
why no fried ikan bilis?
why got burnt kacang?
why timun so small slice?

#3 - curry chicken

niasing the photo chicken so big piece mine come is so small piece.
summore so watery curry i see also no mood

#4 - tomyam bihun

ok same as the photo got 3 fairly big prawn.
but the taste like those instant tomyam onli. dunno how to make, DONT MAKE!

this meal gived me a feeling of taiping is very fail place. i dunno which one more fail, is it taiping or is it puchong?

Puchong, Malaysia, 47100
Tues - Sun:
8:00 am - 6:00 pm

Friday, September 24, 2010

King of good food not you lah

Waliauuuu they call themself king of good food. No shame wan
these people. Really wan this place not for human eated wan.
All thing here is bluff human wan.

See menu look nais. What also wan ordering and i think
why lunchtime is not so many people come here ?

See they sell kek. Many type but alot not have stock.
If not have stock then why put inside menu ???

The price not cheap but is ok, is at SS2. SS2 thing is
known for not cheap. But i tell you, my special noddle
is really shitbrix. The taste is really one kind. What
kind ? Is prawn kind. The prawn is smelly wan that
why they gimme oni 1 piece. Because 1 smelly prawn
make entire sos become smelly prawn sos. The muscle
i call as gwailou siham. This gwailou siham 2 piece is
also smell like prawn. You say jialat or not liddat ?

This one of their special sup. Put inside bread and got
1 gwailou siham. Here the piktar look big, but is smaller
than my kikapoo can. And i can tell you i regret order
this coz the tomato sos they put inside to make sup, is
super shitbrix. The bread nice to eat but the prawn,
the gwailou siham and the tomato sup is fails. Just now
you see my gwailou siham in my special noddle is abit
got oren oren kaler. This is white kaler.
Dun ask me why. Mebbe this gwailou siham is haven't
cook yet or mebbe is really come from gwailou country.
The 2 prawn here is not yet cook. Can see from kaler.
Confirm you eat is shitbrix thing.

You see the shitbrix noddle and the small mini sup. Can
compare with my kikapoo drink. Oh and dun eated the
taufu. Is liam liam type wan, you eated confirm is lausai later.

My gf order this salted egg kuey teow goreng mee thing.
Is very special until can make my gf very anger and scold
the staff people. This noddle take 45 minit to cook and
10 minit to come to my table. I oredi eated finish all then oni
this come. I first time see my gf face black black. Normally
is me black black face but this time they make my gf anger.
Take so long to cook and servis, come that time no salted egg.
Kena go up car jor.

See bill not cheap. Is actually quite expense for lunch since
we eated shitbrix food and wait so long. My lunchtime is
12pm-1pm. but i finish eated with my gf is almost 2pm. I kena
scold by boss summore. Worse is my gf still got hunger
so we tapau mcdonald and i send her home while i go back
working and cook maggi mee in pantry lor.

This place called D'Rich is really kenot go wan. Food so
lousy, servis by bangla also even more lousy, special thing
also nothing special, eat also not happy, drink also not
happy, pay also not happy, eat also not full, drink also expense,
summore charge me serbis charge, kicap and tisu i take
myself from other table so i shud charge them my serbis charge
right ? Blady hell them la, i hope u bankrap soon let other better
place open. Murni and hainan tea down the road, mamak also
nearby, all better than u. Really shitbrix la. I can say this place
is should call as king of not good food or king of not for human
eated place.

D'Rich "so called king of good food"
N3 07.090 E101 37.431

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Eated here can hungry wan

Today i go this restoran name Char Siew Zhai at the sunway mas
area there. Got many femes blogger tok this place so i go to test
water. Fuahhhh is first time i eated with my gf till hungry. I never
eated and feel not full before.

You see their pricing like not expense wan. But see so
much also no use. When order come that time is not for
human eated wan !

This is my RM5 siew yuk rice. You know why is RM5 ? See
piktar also u know liao. 1 piece siew yuk is RM1. Got 5 piece
there. Rice and sup they gib free. Sos they give i dunno why.
They also gib me 2 cucumber which is not for human eat wan.

My gf order their femes wan tan mee char siew. But since
they say they also femes in siew yuk, she order siew yuk wan
tan mee. The noddle is hard like eated chopstick, the wantan
no give her but instead they give her sup water. Then the vege
they use is at least 5 day old.

But that also, is RM 4.50. How come my siew yuk rice is RM5 ??
She got more siew yuk than me for less the price ????
How come is liddat i also dunno.

I confirm these people dunno how to do business wan.
My gf wan tan mee cheaper but more siew yuk than my
more expense siew yuk rice. No wonder you rugi la.
Summore your food really not for human eated wan.
The noddle you gib so much make sure is fully cook first
ok ? The vegetable next time dun gib better la.
I really wish i no go there. Waste my money oni, i pay to
shit brix !!!!!

Restaurant Char Siew Zhai
Sunway Mas PJ
N3 07.161 E101 35.892

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Seremban not femes for this

I go seremban before and i never hear femes thing other
than the siew pau. This kopitiam is at the Summit Subang
shopping kompreks, you see got nobody eated here mean
is got no que so my food sure is fast come wan.

So i bring my gf go inside here look at menu and then
order lor. Then my gf point to me, daling you see, we
go up car jor. Fuiyoh got cili sos from Giant supermarket.
I know people buy kimball or kampung koh or maggi but
this first time i see from Giant supermaket wan. Jialat
liao lah.

Then come my gf teh, See the kaler also jialat liao la.
So white, even ipoh white kopi also not this white. No have
the teh taste. How can lidis ??????

I order this hailam mee set. I tot hailam mee always is
black black sos. This one special coz is like starch from
cantonis noddle. What taste also no have. The cili they
gimme is dunno come from where wan. I think use
Giant cili sos much better. My set come wid jelly and
limau jus. Whole set is confirm not for human eated wan.
The mee is not hailam, is yellow noddle. The sos is got no
taste no salt no nothing. The egg is like from last week
already cook. The vege is soft like overcook 5 times.
The long long thing u see is the cucumber they slice but
because the blade not sharp they stick all together. That
also because the sos is so thick can use as gam.
The jelly is nice coz they no put sugar. Come on la, where
got people jelly is not sweet one ?
My limau jus is got more ais than limau jus. If you see
piktar look like no moar ais, is because all melted. If all
melted ais mean my food take >9000 to come.
Summore you see 1st piktar is got NO PEOPLE SIT.

Give you all see the Giant cili sos again. Never see before leh ?
Dun sked, i also no see kopitiam that got the Giant cili sos.
This my 1st time oso.
Wan so bajet until liddat meh ? Kimball expense izzit now ?

This my gf order wan. Is some fish thing dunno what look
like some popiah thing. The cili sos they gip is made of
red coloring and water. So again we use Giant cili sos.
Oh and try not order this. You will jialat wan.

This my bill. You see is like cip but i tell you, my set
is not cip. Is conjob.

This place is not for human eated wan. The most
impress thing inside here is the Giant cili sos. Really
this is my 1st time see this kind of thing. If you come
here eated i confirm is you really like Giant cili sos.

Old Seremban Station Kopitiam
USJ Summit Subang
N3 03.612 E101 35.579