Saturday, January 30, 2010

GutterFood Cooking Lesson- Pad Woon Sen (Thai)

Remember got this post? sparked so many attensyen, that got one anon guy go post this komen:

Anonymous said...
Like to critisize ppl's cooked food ? why dont u cook ur own food ? Asswipe. never had all these food before dun simply says its not nice or whatsoever.

September 21, 2009 4:17 PM

It pose a challenge to me, yea, why not? coz i know wat is shit brix food, and what is no shit brix food.
So nao i ken harness my kulinary skill in cooking GUTTERFOOD for you all.

I hope this post will helping all future chef, so that they try very hard not to do wat i do here...wokay?

So here is what I wented to cook, Pad Woon Sen (means stir fry glass nodle).

So i think after watching the videos and googling, i think i ken cook liao. So i custom my own ingredient.
Wokayyy...  lets start off wif the ingredients.

got mushrooms (cut &wash), vege (optional), fishsos, blekpepper,
garlics, and some frozen prawns (fresh or not no worry)

Then u soak and drain the Woon Sen.
Make sure u cutted it in small pieces.

First, putted some oil on wok. Is non stick wok...
so the oil also no stick.

Then u put in the garlics. Thai garlics no need cut wan.
Is gooding like this. aroma is smellness nice

Then time to add in the prawns. Marinated wan.
I use kicap manis, fish sos, soy sos..and any
sos that is blek in kaler oso ken.

So i stirfry the prawns wif the mushrooms

Then the mushroom gived water (coz was soaked).
Is this suppose like this?
I has no idea if this is a gooding idea or not...
But anyway, i continue cook (coz i really dunno liao)

Then i masuk the Woon Sen (thai glass nodle)

Then i adding egg.

Then i stir like shit, add in the sos (fish sos, soy sos)
And any sos i can find to make it look black.
Remember children, if u no stir like shit, its not stir fry!

Here is where i notice got problem.
The woon sen seems hard to stir fry
Maybe I no cutted nicesly? It look dry, so i putted some
water+chicken stock so it look wetted with some taste
Stir and stir, add some fish sos, dark sos oso.
Finally, i remember i had forgotten to add sugar!!!
WAFFAK!!! i go sprinkle some sugar..
and stir somemore. Hope the sugar is become melting.


Not bad. I added some black pepper on top.
Looks is nice.
Looks is also deceiving.
Coz is too salty. No sugar. Prawns over cook liao
Wok fire also not big enuf liao.
Woon Sen too clump clump up liao...hard to eat.
A bit dry also.

So is confirm, this shitbrix food is wat you will cook for your in laws.
Rememeber children, serve this to only people you no like

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Gutterfood International - THAILAND - A&W

Just when you thinking A&W oni sux
in Malaysia? Jew r so wrong!!!
It sux oso in Thailand!!!

The all Amerikan FUUUD.... saopei la

Their beef burger Moza. Look ok oni

Afer one bite, yuk...nothing spesial...
1 piece of moza meat there...the beef patty
is so thin also. Not enuf to filling my tummy

So i try another, fish burger.
Fish is NOT FRESH!!!
Got the smelly fishy smell!!!

But their packagine is nice liao.
Got handle for u to holding.
So no dirty your hand when u
puking on your food.

They oso have this fish fillet wif WAFFER?
It tasting weird la. First time eated
waffer wif FISH FILLET!!!
Normally eated wif icecream, but
this is eated wif fish liao.

Taste crunchy, and fishy same time.
Mix reaction liao. Dunno if i like it or hate it.
But definitely no wented there again.

A&W Ayuthaya

Starbucks Jaya One

When you go starbucks, remember no order this...

The drink is suppose to be dragon fruit + kiwi
The result is COCKROACH smell.

I ask staff, they say "hahaha, its liddat wan"

I feel like wan to go down and poke his pet pet
with my penknife.

Don order dis...or anything other than coffee.
If not u sure shitbrix.

Starbucks Jaya One
N3 07 04.6 E101 38 08.5

Gutterfood CNY Spesial - Not extra super tanker

Last time many many moon ago this was my faverite
restoran to eated chinese food. That time not many
people know this place. So quality sometime good
sometime bad.

After that, quality sometime good, most time bad.
Nowaday, most time bad, sometime shitbrix. I no
choice, i haf gutter one of my faverite restoran liao.

I owiz order this since long time ago. Is egg wid
crab meat u wrap in vegetable. Very nice ..... if 10 year
ago. Now u order this, vege come very old, egg give u
many and crab meat if u can find u is lucky. Got
kacang wan, last time many kacang, they call
pine cone nut. Now they extra super kiamsiap.

This my faverite sos. Is small dry prawn with
onion and sambai. Now they charge if u wan order
extra 1 plate.

This is acar. I not eated acar coz i not like.
Is lousiest most expense acar u will ever eated.

This is stone fish. Chinese call sek tau yue. Is very
poisonous. Bone is blue color. I eated this is sabah
they charge me RM 100 for 1kg. If you eated here
in this extra super tanker expense place, They charge
triple. And they not clever cook this because they
steam too long make the meat hard hard.
Expense fish u charge never mind, but if u spoil my
fish it make me not syiok eated it anymore. Fish suppose
to be soft. Kenot overcook wan !

This is roast wood chikin. Is the saltiest thing you
can ever order. And this not cheap i tell you. If you
eated this u is will drink 10 cup chinese tea.

This their spesial tong poh meat. They give fry bun.
Tong poh meat is eated with stim bun not fry !
If fry bun how to absorb the oil and gravy ? The fry bun
oredi is got many oil inside and hard hard skin. Haihz.

I dunno what this vege is but dun order ! Is bitter wan.

This restoran if u come is take big risk. Most time i come
in 2009 and 2010 they mostly gimme shitbrix food. Oni got
1-2 time they serve ok ok food. This old branch. My unker say new
branch even worse. For CNY, stay away from this place. If many
people go, mean quality confirm not gooding coz the person
not able to cook good for many people.

Restaurant Extra Super Tanker
Damansara Kim
N3 08.097 E101 37.742

Gutterfood goes international - Harbin China

My P3 computer dieded liao. Shop say too old no more
spare part so must buy new. Again i have update this
in cyber cafe which not have microsop opis.

This is small shop inside big shop in Harbin. They sell
many thing in here is all from deer.

You see the pot on left hand side, i order that drink
so i can be kuat kuat. Is expense sup but is ok since
can make me kuat kuat.

So small bowl is cost me RMB 40. FuuuUuuuu.
After i drink the salt water sup, i is no feel kuat
kuat. I feel poorer and i shitbrix.

This is waste my money. I am confirm shitbrix
after drink salt water sup. For those dunno read
chinese word, that sup is deer penis sup. Dont waste
money buy that sup remember ! It not have make u
kuat kuat. It oni make u poor and shitbrix.

Deer Farm

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Gutterfood International - KFC China

Ok this my final gutterfood on China until i go to there
again. Here in Harbin, got many many KFC. China people
really like KFC i dunno why.

My gf and i eated this for breakfast in Harbin, China.
We order different burger. I like the chikin thigh so
again like in Mcdonald i go order this. They oni got
1 flavor and is spicy. So i try lor.

This my gf burger. Look shitbrix, tasting shitbrix.

This my burger. So small and so ..... not nais. Oh
and is super expense food. This one i think 1 mouth
can finish liao. But after eated this, u will drink 5 cup
water and 1 cup eno.

Because is order set, they come this. Is not like
coleslaws. Is differens. This i think is people use
to feed the pig. But here they gif me and my gf
eated this kind of thing. We not pig, we human.

This is their popcorn chiken. Is most failed shitbrix
food in their menu next to my super expense burger.
The chiken not like ours here. They are one is dry
and lousy and salty and oily. When u combo that
with their super soggy oily french fry, is confirm
shitbrix food.

Their popcorn chiken is also serve cold. Cold weather
and u ask me eat cold thing is fail la. I regret not have
order their spesial porridge. But when i see other people
not have finish, i dowan say anything.

This KFC becoz serve shitbrix food, they try another
type of marketing stratigi. They give u some
scratch and win kupon if u eated above RMB 50.
I scratch but i not have win anything.

Remember must avoid. No matter how hunger u are
go to supermarket buy thing eated is better than
here. Is lucky i bring eno with me. If no eno i think
i not able to shit.


Gutterfood goes international - China Mcdonald part 2

I go China many many day so eated many many thing.
Oni shitbrix food i put inside this gutterfood blog.
Because i come to this China is cold cold place so i eated
more thing. Ngam ngam this Mcdonald near my hotel
but is not same as the other Mcdonald.
My gf and i order nuget and dunno wat burger. She
say wan try their nugget sos.
They gip 3 not same sos. 1 is garlic cili, 1 sweet
sour like ours here and the paket is tomato sos.

1 thing i learn is they not put expiry date but they
put manufactured date. I omost shitbrix when i
saw date and lucky i ask counter girl. If not i turn table
upside down oredi.

But this sos, is like chikin rice sos. Is veli fail.
Malaysia kaifan sos is more better than this.
Is confirm the lousy nugget veli soggy not go
well with this sos. The nugget is really not human
eated wan becoz they nugget is wet wet type and
they smell funny. I think is the oil they use.

This burger if u throw in sea, all fish will die.
Is actually small burger but inside burger is
not have meat tasting. Is oil tasting. Like the yau
char gwai oil. FuUuUuuuu ! Can fight smell with
chau taufu.

The french fry is always soft. I owiz have to gif to
dusbin wan. If i dip the french fry with the garlic cili,
my gf dowan kiss me anymore. She say i will tasting
bad and ask me not speaking anymore coz the cili sos
smell is kenot go off one. Lucky i smart bring my
portable tootbrush and darlie tootpaste.
The white color sos u see, is sour sour not like our
sos here. The super combo is old oil + funny tasting
sos + soft soft weird bread with duno what thing on top
then if u put some tomato sos, confirm is shitbrix
maximum. After 2 time try Mcdonald food in China
at 2 differen Mcdonald outlet summore, confirm
this is shitpense food. This place really really not
for human eated wan !

Gutterfood goes international - Shenzen

I is fly home from Harbin but have to stop here 1 day.
When time go home to KL, i no choice but eated lunch
inside here at Shenzen International Airport.
FuuUuUUuuuUUUuu i regret like mad !

This pau inside is dunno what meat. Is bad tasting
and if u dip in the oily cili is make the bad tasting
even more badder.
Then my gf take this. I no idea wat that is even
until now. My gf eated half i eated the other half
and the rest is give dusbin.
This prawn, small, overfry, hard to eated. If you
want to eated this prawn, you is need Jaws teeth.

Hahaha, this funny pankek is big, thick, hard and
is funny tasting. I know pankek use milk but since
this is China, i think they no milk use soya bean.
When you use funny thing to make thing, u is
confirm will taste funny. This one oso i give to
Underneat this pankek is another pankek they
not cook properly. Is not rounded but they gimme.
This is musroom fry wid pok. I got eated some pok
but mostly i also gif to dusbin.

This one is old vegetable fry with old sotong. The
vegetable is old and many fiber so when u bite u is
will spit out. Oni use to suck the jus from the vegetable
but i tot is jus until my gf say is oil not jus. Old vege
not have got jus anymore coz old and dry.
The super sotong i think they overcook by 10 hour
coz even rubber is easier to bite than that sotong.
This spesial loh mai rice is fry with many kicap.
Oni got kicap and rice. No meat no vege wan.

I really shitbrix here. But my bill come i shitbrix
even more. All this thing i buy, is cost about RMB 200+
Lucky i good mood that day coz my gf got kiss me.
If she no kiss me i turn the table upside down liao.
Food court Level 1
Shenzen International Airport
Shenzen, China