Saturday, November 7, 2015

Shogun Japanis Buffet One Utama - The foundation of upcar-ness

Da jia hao, i is Ah Kambing, i very long time no upcar already, maybe becos i got pray to guan yin ma, so i no upcar. But this time, i was forced upcar. Forced upcar ok, not i go upcar. So pilipala pilipala, i was forced to go lunchie in Shogun Japanis buffet at one utama shopping mall center.

I stepped in, i sit and i watch what the auntie took. I tell u what, this is very important when u eating in a buffet restaurant. U want to know what food is the best, u have to check with the auntie. But that time not many auntie, i was very hungry liao so i go pick the food.

This is salmon sashimi, i very like salmon sashimi. Ok la, the salmon sashimi still ok wan, but i very scare the sashimi got undead worm so i use my handphone torch light to scan scan to see if the salmon got any worm but lucky no have any worm so i kiap many and eat with wasabi. SHIOK

This is non smelly ham yu, in case you don't know cantonese, i let u know this is non smelly version of half dried salted fish. They were like sitting on their plate for daysss. I no dare to take because i saw my auntie friend make a puking face after she ate one of this hamyu.

This is squid sashimi, i first time see the squid sashimi in literally white color. Very white color liao weh, u cook liao or not i don't know but they also same like the hamyu, sitting on the plate very long liao so i also no pick.

This is half dried maguro sashimi. My friend very sakai like that, when he saw this maguro sashimi he very loud and say wui, got beef wui. I immediately give him facepalm. Wui sakai, you standing in front of a sashimi bar where got beef one.

This is the sushi bar, all the maki maki rice roll you can have there. All also very dry and not fresh ,  i don't why maybe i go for lunch buffet and these were the leftover of the night before.

This oyster i tell you, very strong oyster. You can smell the oyster smell from far far away. The oyster like frozen for thousand years and very busuk la weh. I don't know if the oysters kena froze and unfroze and froze and unfroze for thousand times or what la but the smell is like the giant longkang besides sunway putra mall lo. 

I saw buddha jump over the wall, i take a bowl because i want to have something hot. I stir stir i no see any buddha. Eh, you don't 38. We author in this blog are not all bodo crab and joker, ok. Except ah wok maybe? i don't know. Ok, i took a bowl of this buddha jump over the wall. Got abalone slices la, got many fried fish maw and sea cucumber. But the soup taste like the water use to wash off the oilyness of fried fish maw.

There is nothing i can eat i very beh tahan i very hungry so i go kiap those fresh ingredient and ask the abang to cook teppanyaki for me. Fuuu, i can confirm shogun and saisaki are brother and brother, they both use the same sweet sauce. You know why i know or not? It's because the sweet sauce is 4896 sweet. 

I took this from a pot called supreme clam soup. This is not clam soup la this is the water they use to wash off the sands or dirt from the clam la. The clams still got many sands and fishy smell. 

This is fried pumpkin prawn. The pumpkin taste like sweet potato, the whole thing very dry very floury, very weird taste. The sweet potato already dried and taste like 2 days ago mashed potato without gravy but the prawn is ok, still elastic.

I cincai eat till i half full i go up GSC cinema there get the waffle eat till full full. From now on, no one can force ah kambing to step in Shogun anymore. NO MORE.

Shogun Japanese Buffet Restaurant One Utama

Friday, September 4, 2015

Podgy & The Banker + suckssssssssssssssssssssssss

Hello people, long time no see. It's actually a good thing that I don't see you all because that means Ah Kiang never up car. Ah Wok recently always ask me, "eh, please go update gutterfood" I said, "you chi sin ah, that means I have to up car!" Uol tell me la, what fren is this?

Well, after so many months of avoiding up car food, today Ah Kiang finally up jor.

Ah Kiang brought his lovely waifu (I BET YOU ALL DUNNO I MERRID DY, so girls, pls, no sadding, still many trees out there ya) to a high krass place call Verve Shops at Mont Kiara. How do you say Verve? ver-veh, ve-ruff? Damn kwailos like to give a san ka la place kwailo name just to make it high class and more expense.

Ah Kiang actually quite in, he has instagram although you should know right, it's only used for occassions like this. But sometimes he need to balance his huelings after looking at own up car shit brix pics, he need to see some pretty girls pang pua liap, coffee with 90 degree shot from standing up chair, and some bitch beach photos.

I akcelli notice this porgie and the kanina for a long time liao, because hor, people like to take pics of their kopi beside the window, on the chair, on the floor, put the kopi on the table then lie on the floor to take upskirt style. I thought should be ok lah if not why else they do so many things? Siao ah.

I think I talk too much. So here's the chicken chop. I think because recently gov announce oil price drop again, so they very happy and use more oil to fry my chicken. I very thankful la to be honest but then you see the chicken, the skin not crunchy like mamee monster liao.

Nah, close up shot just for you all. I also know how to instagram with nice angle one ok. From here you can see how oily and how watery the so called fried chicken chop is. Other instagram ppl can't do that, but AH KIANG CAN!

OK lah, Ah Wok, you happy liao now?

podgy n the banker +
verve shops, mont kiara

Friday, August 28, 2015

Good Home bakuteh sell kangen thing

Ni Hao! Ah Wok here. My gf and me go this up car place
ss23 taman sea there to eated this up sai bakuteh place but
they special not bakuteh, is special water.

See see got some human come muz be ok jor. I tell u ah,
my eye very sharp 1. I tell my gf, u see the banting, is sell
water filter. They not business eated bakuteh, sure is sell
filter sistem 1. See oso i sked leh, not good liao wei.
I tell my gf, why not we go next door more safe, but she
say try la. Everytime try is end up Ah Wok need write
thing in here. Haih !

Menu come. Bakuteh is dirty place eated oni nais. Here they
wash your bak for u in their special filter kangen water with
super geng chau PH dunno wat alkaline water. Wat is
alkaline water ? I work car worksyop b4 i know is for put
battery. Why u use clean and cook my bakuteh ? Alkaline
is for put battery not for put bakuteh leh.

Order lor, hunger oredi so fast eated can go else place. Wah
come oredi regret. Taste weird 1. Is that special water PH too 
special for me and my gf. Up car lehhhh!

This bakuteh no taste, very weak very beh sai very not
kick. And is very little coz small. No pass. Not for 
human eated Ah Wok gerenti lu.

Inside menu the taufu got fishball side. This dun hap. I kenot
brain but my gf say faster eats faster can go. I think they
wash this taufu wid kangen special PH magic water. I got suspek
the kicap oso is use kangen special PH magic water healing
+agi 200 +dex 200 + hp 300 + mana 1000

The lady finger oso confirm is use kangen special magic
PH water clean and cook coz is lembik lembik like the
taufu jor. The restoran taukeh must be trying this magic
water too powerful for this until can fail. If vege can fail
the rest all no need say 1. Confirm u not for human
eated 1 this place. The bill i dowan show sked all pengsan
then later the boss will sell u magic kangen water dunno 
PH special thing.

Restoran Good Home
SS23/11 New Taman Sea
N3 07.047 E101 36.814

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Sentul Curry House

Ni Hao! Ah Wok here today tell all people that this
Sentul Curry House is not for human eated 1. 

This restoran really shitbrix until i 3d2n camp my toilet bowl.
And is not cheap.

My fren is bring me come here eated. I tot is got banana
leaf rice eat kari but no. Is plate. I see oredi i know sure
up car oredi but he say this must try femes thing.

I taking the fish something and then some something
and others things. Lucky i stop taking coz is not nais.

This fish thing dunno wat is got the fish hard skin and
got many bone 1. Many bone until is like eated the fish
from China liddat. 

U see the pic below is the fukua fry thing. Is femes thing
all banana leaf must take. This one u take u ownself rugi.
Is not nais, is salty and not krak krak type. Is lembik the
lau fung type for ppl no teef eated 1.

My fren fry jiken is very fail. Sure la, u take 10 week old jiken
and then fry of coz is up car la. The papadem oso lembik lau
fung liao. U dip wat kari oso no use. Here the kari is i think 
come from oganik shop those kind. No taste 1.

 My bill i think liddis few thing add some water is RM40+
Remember, if u die die wan come here eated shitbrix
thing, is u ownself rugi. 

Sentul Curry House
Sentul there somewhere

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Yong Tat Teluk Gong UP UP CAR!

Ni Hao! Ah Wok here, my intehnet still sot sot so i 
must fastering type so not putus so many and make
me fire boil kau kau.

My gf frens bring us to here in Teluk Gong. Is very far inside and
got no light. All is dark dark and road like shit. The road suddenly
got bum and hole so will make car spoil fast 1. I tot go eated coconut
flower place, her fren continue drive until deep deep like going another
country jor.

We order this standard dish. Is lala bihun black sos. Becoz my
camera not so good, i not zoom in to show u the fail lala bihun
but i can tell u is dry until eated like keropok liddat. This bihun
need skill coz some got cook and some no cooked. I no skill
eated this kind of noddle.

This is special dish the thief boss lady rekomen. Is fish.
Nobody can know is fish unless see the gigi up top near the 
plate there. U all no see coz u all trying to see wat sos this.
I tell u all ah, dun waste time. I eated also i dunno wat sos
this. I oni remember it give me shitbrix. 

Where got ppl cooking until got gigi fish and laosai kaler
sos ??? U all tell me la.

Come sifud restoran must order crab. Peeple say is Klang femes
crab. Wat femes i dunno, is not the sos. Kenot be the crab oso
femes coz the crab small. Izit femes for small ? or taste shitbrix ?

I know many restoran gib the loti is fry 1. This restoran is
top klass, give gardenia and then stim. Thief aunty boss say
eated loti dip sos. I see sos oso wan run u ask me dip loti in
sos ? This loti is eated with butter and kaya! NOT EATED

Come i show u another pic of weird fish in weird sos.
See u all dare eated or not.

Sifud restoran order fish, order crab, prawn oso is must. 
Here we order is we ownself rugi. 

Fry prawn salt  My gf eated that time suden shout like ghost
go up body. I tot is normal becoz we deep inside kampung place
so maybe got the dirty thing kacau her.
Manatau she point point for me see and scold me some more.
Look the prawn head i put 1 side for all to enjoy.

Prawn got oni 2 eye. 

I zoom in summore give u all see wat the black black thing with leg.

Nah, can see or not ? Fry lalat with prawn. Is not the lalat
jump in die. Is the prawn is fry with lalat. WTF thief aunty boss !
How can is kah liu liddis ? 

Gib all u see 1 more time the crab and gardenia loti.

I normally eated 3 bowl rice. This time, 2 spoon i gib up.
Ah Wok sked jor. Confirm up car liao confirm shitbrix liao.

Why i call her thief aunty boss? The aunty very bad 1. I call
her ask her which thing she cook is for human eated 1. She kenot
answer. Then i say the prawn head lalat how settle? She black face.
U black face coz u still wan cas me ? U siao boh ???? U make
me and my gf shitbrix up car and u still ask me eated the
prawns ? All please better not come this place. Weekend
we come is empty 1. No wonder empty. Up car like mad. 

Nothing here is for human eated 1. Really up car big time.
Prawn lalat still want to cas ppl meh? Wan liddis meh ? 
RM 300 is i need working 2 syif many month ok. Haihz.


Restoran Yong Tat
Teluk Gong

Friday, April 17, 2015

Restoran LYF dunno if sg buloh or kota damansala but dont matter lah

Ni Hao! Ah Wok here. I go to see dokter afterward so 
only have time eated quick fast thing so i go to this
shitbrix restoran near my hospital. 

I not know this so bad shitbrix i take piktar
for all u see. 

I order 2 ppl fry rice coz Ah Wok is rice people. No rice
can die 1. No rice is not for human eated 1. This rice
is not for human eated 1. No taste, no kaler, no liu, no 
kick, no wok hei, no feel. 

U see this rice oso no feel jor how to eated ? This u ownself
order u ownself rugi.

Ah Wok like fukin mai fun. Ah Wok eated fukin mai fun since
1999. I tell u i never eated fukin mai fun liddis b4. Is the
bestest fukin mai fun in the whole entire Malaysia and Sinjiapor
and Taikok. This fukin mai fun is not black 1. But is ok, becoz
the fukin mai fun no taste, no wok taste, no liu except 2-3 
prawn and then the fukin mai fun got few stick of vegetable.
This fukin mai fun cost me RM 32. Is for 2 people eated saiz.
The 2 people who eated this is not human jor.  Is me and my gf.
RM 32 of fukin mai fun if u go elsewhere is eated until u cannot
eated anymore thing 1. Here is liddis oni. 

Kailan is the bestest vegetable in the whole Malaysia. U can
kailan here kailan there kailan everywhere oso wont go wrong.
Here story not same. Here the kailan go wrong. If u see properly
the piktar, they kailan the kailan. Wei, the kailan so cheap, u still
wan cut cut tiok liddis meh ? Dun la do until liddis wei. Kailan not
expense oso. U chop chop cut cut liddis make the kailan not
look like kailan not feel like kailan oredi. Why wan slice the
kailan ah????? whyyyyyyyyyy?????

My bill is 4 people eated. RM 85. I got order 2 ppl fry rice,
2 ppl fukin mai fun, and 2 ppl kailan galik. Cip or not u 
ownself say la. And no drink beer. Is cinis tea ti kuan yin ok.

Some ppl tell me this restoran is brother same as the restoran lyj not far 
from here. LYJ actually quite nice, but why this brother so not nice ?
Very liok sui and very shitbrix food. Dun come here. U come here
u ownself rugi oni. 

Restoran LYF
N3 10.018 E101 34.190
Sg Buloh Industrial Park

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Gutterfood Goes International - Sanya CoCoNuT

Ni hao ! Ah Wok here. I ownself steal opis time
write this so i must fast write if not boss catch me
will fry my sotong 99. 

Last year i go wid my gf to Sanya in China. There i
end up at mostest shitbrix place in the world. All people
tell me Sanya is beauty place with many thing but expense.

Now that Ah Wok and gf oredi here, we is tell you that
Sanya is femes for coconut. Their coconut is so femes
that when i buy at RM 12 for 1 coconut i confirm i rugi
and up car big time jor. I go jaya grocer buy even more
cheap and with pandan summore.

So we end up here this place sell all full coconut food.
Is femes hotel, so femes until google oso dun work coz
China block all liao. 

Menu is power man. U see properly all name is like
come from heaven 1. All dish is got coconut. 

Here i introduce u the shitbrix coconut sup thing.
U drink this u ownself rugi. Meat and coconut dun
go together 1. Just cannot la.

Here is some funny things. All funny things got some
coconut on it or in it. Very coconuti.

This salad. Is fruit salad with coconut lups. The white
square thing u see i call as lups is coconut lups. The
sos is mayonis. Very jelak after u eated few lups liao
and u will feel u oredi too much coconut liao.

This is kari kai. Although u not see coconut, but is the santan
that is from coconut. Look like someone laosai and it taste
even worse than look. The potato is like just put in. Not yet 
cook 1. Very shitbrix i tell u. 

This is bestest coconut dish ever to make u coconut
power up level 9000. Coz when u fry the kacang, u
expect taste like kacang. No! U is wrong ! Here the 
kacang is taste coconut. The biskut outside is oso
taste like coconut. If u wan full combo coconut,
this dish is full combo coconut. 

Vege is very special. The vege got fry with some wet wet
coconut. If u zoom in piktar u can see the coconut they spoon
out still wet wet got coconut chups on it. Then when they
fry this vege, they coconut jus kau it. If u asking me wat
this tasting, i tell u is coconut. 

This piktar is take after 12 ppl eated. As you can see still
got many thing left can feed whole kampung 1. Human
body not take coconut too many coz will many probrem
when shitbrix that time. 

Welcome to fish. This i still remember the taste. U know 
la China fish many bones 1. This fish is no diffren from 
the normal China fish, still many bones but this very special
coz the soya sos u see, is actually coconut water with
kalering. No salty taste. Only coconut taste. 

I can gerenti u this not soya sos. Kicap is salty taste,
not coconut taste. This many bones special unicorn fish
is stim wid the coconut jus and some black kaler water.
More coconut jus not many black kaler. Nobody dare
eated this except me. Ah Wok eated all thing 1. 

Ah Wok up the car big time this fish. I shitbrix 3 day
3 nite becoz this fish.

Here got dessert. This dessert is special cannot get elsewhere
other than here the coconut land. Is rice coconut.
Basically is like nasi lemak, coz is rice boil coconut 
water. But here they can himpit kasi kompress the thing
and they effort put inside coconut and bake and then
they cut nicely presentation to you eated till u rugi shitbrix up car.

U dun ask me what the black black white white thing is.
The white white thing inside the nasi lemak himpit Sanya
is coconut. The skin outside is coconut. But the coconut 
cannot eated 1 coz is hard like batu liddat. The black
black part i dunno is what but i think they put more
batu burn coconut liao. 

Verdict, Sanya beautiful place, very expense. This
coconut exp, make me +HP up 100 and +MP up 100. 
My dex and agi oso got increase when i eated here.
My coconut level now reach 9000 liao. U see this u will
eated or not ? I think most u shitbrix oredi when read menu.

Pearl River Garden Hotel