Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Gutterfood Goes International - Sanya CoCoNuT

Ni hao ! Ah Wok here. I ownself steal opis time
write this so i must fast write if not boss catch me
will fry my sotong 99. 

Last year i go wid my gf to Sanya in China. There i
end up at mostest shitbrix place in the world. All people
tell me Sanya is beauty place with many thing but expense.


Now that Ah Wok and gf oredi here, we is tell you that
Sanya is femes for coconut. Their coconut is so femes
that when i buy at RM 12 for 1 coconut i confirm i rugi
and up car big time jor. I go jaya grocer buy even more
cheap and with pandan summore.

So we end up here this place sell all full coconut food.
Is femes hotel, so femes until google oso dun work coz
China block all liao. 

Menu is power man. U see properly all name is like
come from heaven 1. All dish is got coconut. 


Here i introduce u the shitbrix coconut sup thing.
U drink this u ownself rugi. Meat and coconut dun
go together 1. Just cannot la.


Here is some funny things. All funny things got some
coconut on it or in it. Very coconuti.


This salad. Is fruit salad with coconut lups. The white
square thing u see i call as lups is coconut lups. The
sos is mayonis. Very jelak after u eated few lups liao
and u will feel u oredi too much coconut liao.


This is kari kai. Although u not see coconut, but is the santan
that is from coconut. Look like someone laosai and it taste
even worse than look. The potato is like just put in. Not yet 
cook 1. Very shitbrix i tell u. 


This is bestest coconut dish ever to make u coconut
power up level 9000. Coz when u fry the kacang, u
expect taste like kacang. No! U is wrong ! Here the 
kacang is taste coconut. The biskut outside is oso
taste like coconut. If u wan full combo coconut,
this dish is full combo coconut. 


Vege is very special. The vege got fry with some wet wet
coconut. If u zoom in piktar u can see the coconut they spoon
out still wet wet got coconut chups on it. Then when they
fry this vege, they coconut jus kau it. If u asking me wat
this tasting, i tell u is coconut. 


This piktar is take after 12 ppl eated. As you can see still
got many thing left can feed whole kampung 1. Human
body not take coconut too many coz will many probrem
when shitbrix that time. 


Welcome to fish. This i still remember the taste. U know 
la China fish many bones 1. This fish is no diffren from 
the normal China fish, still many bones but this very special
coz the soya sos u see, is actually coconut water with
kalering. No salty taste. Only coconut taste. 

I can gerenti u this not soya sos. Kicap is salty taste,
not coconut taste. This many bones special unicorn fish
is stim wid the coconut jus and some black kaler water.
More coconut jus not many black kaler. Nobody dare
eated this except me. Ah Wok eated all thing 1. 

Ah Wok up the car big time this fish. I shitbrix 3 day
3 nite becoz this fish.


Here got dessert. This dessert is special cannot get elsewhere
other than here the coconut land. Is rice coconut.
Basically is like nasi lemak, coz is rice boil coconut 
water. But here they can himpit kasi kompress the thing
and they effort put inside coconut and bake and then
they cut nicely presentation to you eated till u rugi shitbrix up car.

U dun ask me what the black black white white thing is.
The white white thing inside the nasi lemak himpit Sanya
is coconut. The skin outside is coconut. But the coconut 
cannot eated 1 coz is hard like batu liddat. The black
black part i dunno is what but i think they put more
batu burn coconut liao. 


Verdict, Sanya beautiful place, very expense. This
coconut exp, make me +HP up 100 and +MP up 100. 
My dex and agi oso got increase when i eated here.
My coconut level now reach 9000 liao. U see this u will
eated or not ? I think most u shitbrix oredi when read menu.





Pearl River Garden Hotel
Sanya
China




7 comments:

Kambingsama said...

i see the coconut dishes, i want to puke already.

Happy walker said...

wow, go till china do review, geng~ haha

Anonymous said...

here don't have coconut must go all the way to china ?

Fiona said...

You so humourous I am laughing all the way... Hahaha!!!!

AP king said...

pls support here too tq admin

Anonymous said...

Your England shitbrix sia

viscous! said...

Hi Gutterfood blog contributors! Thank you for writing it! Im only sorry I only learnt about it once you had since long quit writing. I was directed here by a Malaysian friend and it's honestly become my favourite food blog I've ever visited. I especially love Ah Wok's writing, he's brilliant. Even though he has no mercy and methodically rips the shitty places he visits apart, his writing is so charming and warm that I somehow feel compelled to visit the same awful places. It's probably lucky Im Swedish and safely faraway from all featured restaurants... Ive had to have some translation help lol but honestly mostly I understand from context, I mean, I hope I do. It's extremely funny and Im sure it wouldnt be half as good weren't it written in manglish. it's incredible!!

Whatever ur doing now, I hope u consider writing more! I would jump on an opportunity to read it.